


Will You Always Be There

by LynnMashihita



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Gen, It's just a friendship, Kazama is the manager, Let's just see later, Perhaps unrequited, There won't be any love relationship I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-09-26 06:03:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17136350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynnMashihita/pseuds/LynnMashihita
Summary: With friends and family around, life is as simple as a drama scenario you've made when you're in elementary school.





	1. How It Started

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I'm just doing a repost my old fic. I've post this in my journal too before.   
> This time I will revise some part, made it exactly like the original one. I'm sorry because I will disappoint you for changing some part, especially the last chapters.  
> No. I'm not changing it. I will post the very original one actually, the one I've wrote based on my intention, before the readers persuaded me about the plot.  
> :)

Cold.  
  
It was the first impression of him.  
  
He looked like a person who didn’t want anybody to approach him. A little scary, perhaps. He didn’t talk much, just talked when somebody ask him something. He always sat in the corner, looked like he always tried to avoid everybody. His sharp gaze made him shiver and his heart would beat faster than usual. He tried many times to greet him but failed because of his stupid fear. What if he ignored him instead of greet him back? He just stared at him silently, tried hard to suppress the urge of greeting him.  
  
Dazzling.  
  
He lost his words when he saw him smile one day when his friends made a joke in front of him.  
  
So, he could smile.  
  
It suited him a lot than his cold side. He felt his heart melted with that smile. How come somebody with cold impression could have that dazzling smile? That’s not fair. And everybody else looked fine and comfortable with him too. They made jokes like they had known him closely. He looked didn’t mind at all too when one of them punched him playfully. He didn’t look scary at all. He looked just like everybody else.  
  
A hard worker.  
  
He always had been the last person who went home after the rehearsal. He tried hard to catch up. He tried harder than anyone else. Since it announced that they will have a debut concert, everyday, he took the longer time than everybody else to practice.  
  
Gentle.  
  
As time went by he found his gentleness. He still didn’t talk much but the cold side of him slowly disappeared. It changed with an undeniable kindness. Some members of their new group stared at him silently with adore, especially the little ones. Even one of them always cling to him every time he arrived to their dressing room even until today.  
  
“It’s been years and you’re still staring at him like you want to eat him alive. You creep me out, you know”  



	2. Is He Really That Stupid?

Blushing, he turned over to his best friend who grinned like there’s no tomorrow as he wiggled his eyebrows.  
  
“It’s not like what you think, you know.” He pouted and tried to avoid his eyes at the same time.  
  
Hikaru smiled. “Don’t mind what I think. Why don’t you try to listen to your heart? It won’t cost you anything to admit your feeling. Everybody knows that you’re always staring at him like that.”  
  
Now he darted his eyes to him and sulked. “I told you it’s not like what you think. Don’t dare to think anything weird!”  
  
It cost him a loud laugh from his best friend. Hikaru wiped his watery eyes while trying hard to suppress his laugh. He knew that this wasn’t time to laugh like that but watching his best friend’s face at the time made him couldn’t control his laughter.  
  
“Don’t you want know what he asked me lately?”  
  
He gazed Hikaru with an intent curiosity which enlarged suddenly. His heart beat rose so sudden until he could hear the thump.  
  
“Did I do anything wrong?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“He asked me that question lately. Many times.”  
  
“What the … “  
  
“You made him feeling that way, Kou. Come on, talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Whatever it is I don’t care. I will still be your friend forever. Even if you’re not straight I will still be here, on your side, and I won’t go anywhere.”  
  
Yabu sighed heavily. Feeling relieved and guilty slipped into his heart at the same time. “I told you it’s not like what you think. I just wonder, ok?”  
  
“About?”  
  
Yabu stared at Hikaru silently. There was a feeling of doubt in his heart whether he will tell him honestly what he had in mind or not. This young man in front of will laugh him hard for sure. He knew him too well until he could predict the reaction he will receive every time he told him something unusual, but then he surrendered when Hikaru leaned his body to the wall beside him and nudged him when he didn’t get the answer.  
  
“How come he stands on this world?”  
  
Hikaru stared at him without blinking.  
  
He knew it. This person had unusual imagination than others. He must had weird thoughts that everybody else never had in their mind right now.  
  
“You know? We lived in a very hard world.”  
  
He continued while ignoring his best friend’s reaction.  
  
“A world that required high vigilance and limitless creativity. A world that force us to always think and always try to find a way to survive. Once we close our eyes, we will be left far behind. But look at him. He looked unshielded. He looked like he never thinks. He looked unguarded, and never tried to find a way to survive. He was just following the flow, without the slightest attempt to oppose it. I never saw him try to find his own way even once. He looked …, weak, but strong at the same time. I don’t know how he stands on this kind of world. He’s just …”  
  
“He’s just incredibly childish and matured at the same time. Hmm, how I put it …” Daiki poked his chin and looked thinking . “I don’t care. It is his plus point, anyway.” He said again casually and passed him.  
  
“He is the bravest person I’ve ever known all my life. He doesn’t have any weapon but he throws himself to the war just like that. Without preparation, without weapons to defend himself, even without strategies to survive. He’s just relying to his strong determination, and … insting, to fight, “Yamada stopped for a while and think, “even I doubt that he had one.” He said nonchalantly, “but he always wins fortunately. Although without preparation, without weapons, and without strategies, he can always get out of the battlefield in one piece and without any slightest of injury. Heee, I envy him.”  
  
“Hey, he worked harder than anyone else. Don’t forget that.” Yuto suddenly popped up behind him and tapped his shoulder. “All of the staff told me he was always doing the practice here when we were all busy with school.”  
  
“I know that, ok? It’s just …, it’s not fair that aside of his … “  
  
Yamada didn’t have courage to continue his words when he saw Yabu’s eyes darted on him. The oldest of them had always being the calmest among them but once he got mad nobody dared to even go near him. Except for one person. The person he’s talking about. The person they’re talking about. He always wondered how come he could be that calm when he was near the tiger that tired hard to suppress his anger. What if he suddenly berserk?  
  
“Stupidity?” Chinen suddenly popped out of nowhere beside Yuto.  
  
“Yes. Aside of his stupidity, everyone thought him adorable.”  
  
Yamada looked at Yabu again and still saw his silent anger for calling one of the members stupid. But he bet that he wouldn’t do anything to him because Chinen also said it, and Yabu stayed still in his place with still no words.  
  
“Do you remember our interview with Taipi?” Now he turned to Yuto. “The part where you tell him that you called your mother ‘mama’? He said that if he was the one who do that then it was okay. What the hell with that?”  
  
“You’re just jealous.”  
  
“I’m not!”  
  
“Yes you are~. Just admit it that you’re jealous because he just has to become himself and doesn’t have to struggle to become an adorable one. But you? The reverse. When you become yourself, you’re scary.”  
  
“Yuri!”  
  
"Sorry, Ryosuke. This time I vote for my little brother." Chinen skipped away to where Daiki was, ignoring the scowl of Yamada.  
  
“Don’t worry, Yama-chan. I’m on your side.” Yuto caresses his back gently.  
  
Yamada rolled his eyes and walked following Chinen. “And he doesn’t even here yet. Late again, and you still found him adorable?” he mumbled by himself while preparing himself for the practice.  
  
“Not just adorable.” Inoo tapped his shoulder. “Realize it or not, he is the one who always makes us sane.” He even winked at him.  
  
“He is the most honest between us, you can even call him naïve, but Inoo is right. Without him, trust me, we would have already gone insane.” Said Keito calmly.  
  
Everybody quit from their activities. They stared at Keito for a while, made him look back at them awkwardly. But when they smiled at him, agreed with his words, he smiled even widely. Hikaru gave his thumb up.  
  
“See?” Hikaru smiled and looked at Yabu. “Unconsciously we need him. For whatever reason, we need him to be there. At least we will always be reminded that we still have someone to look after because of his stupidity and his childish nature. As Dai-Chan said, it is his plus point. We need him for whoever he is. We need him to not change.”  
  
“Hikaru, you’re mean. He’s not stupid.” Inoo screamed and threw his shoe at Hikaru, who successfully avoided it.  
  
“Just a little bit airhead.” Daiki smiled at Inoo, tried to support him but he received a sharp glare from Inoo.  
  
“You’re just like them. What do you get by always teasing him like that, anyway? Calling him stupid all the time”  
  
“Inoo-Chan, he is a stupid.” Chinen looked at him amusedly. “You like it or not, you have to admit it.”  
  
“Being stupid is not a crime. You won’t get anything by teasing him like that. No one will happy if you call them stupid.”  
  
“Hey, hey .., are you falling in love with him, Inoo-Chan?” Hikaru asked him with disbelief.  
  
“Shut up!” Inoo pouted back while wearing shoes that are returned by Yabu.  
  
Yabu caressed his back gently. “Whatever you’re doing or saying, they won’t change, trust me. And the one they called ‘stupid’ will also never getting mad. He will always just smile.”  
  
“Yes, yes. He will never ever get mad at us even if we call him anything. He loves us very much. And the most important thing is, he realizes himself that he is a stupid.”  
  
“Dai-Chan, you’re more evil than Hikaru.” Annoyed, Inoo looked at the younger.  
  
Daiki smiled widely while scratching his head.  
  
Together with that, the door of the practice room opened widely, and the person they talked about showed up. His face flushed when he entered the room.  
  
“Sorry, guys. I’m late.”  
  
“Oi, Yuya! Do you know what time is it? Where have you been?” Daiki shouted as he approached. He was stunned for a moment as Yuya subtly avoided him and immediately joined with others in the middle of the room. He looked at him in silence. There was something odd about Yuya but he did not know what. He looked like him as usual. Always with his wide smile when everybody teased him and laughed loudly when he couldn’t hold his laughter.  
  
“By the way, were you overslept again this morning?” Inoo asked him gently.  
  
“Um ...,” Yuya smiled awkwardly. He scratched the back of his head while trying to avoid Inoo’s gaze.  
  
“Yuya ..., I'm asking you.”  
  
“Um, actually I woke up earlier than usual this morning.”  
  
“Then why did you come late?” asked Yamada curious.  
  
“On the way here, I ..., lost.”  
  
Everyone was shocked to hear the answer. Many years passed the same route to get to the building, this person could still lost. They stared him in disbelief.  
  
“Stupid!” They cried at him at the same time.  
  
Yabu just smiled and shook his head in disbelief.  



	3. Unread Signs

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on the wall inside the rest room. He breathed hard and felt the burning was spreading all over his body. He touched the wall, tried to send its coolness to cool down the burning he felt. He felt the peace until one hand reached over his arm and made him face the owner.  
  
“You are definitely not fine. This is not the first time, Yuya. Why should you force yourself? Just go home and take a rest. There is nothing to lose if you leave the practice just for one day.”  
  
“Then I will be left behind. Again.”  
  
Takaki muttered and trying to let himself go.  
  
“I’ve been left behind during Your Seed and I don’t want to experience it for the second time. It had been a hell to practice alone while you know that everybody had already mastered the dance.”  
  
“For God sakes, Yuya, it’s just for one day. You won’t be left behind just for one day absent. I will teach you the moves, trust me. I will accompany you any time you want if you afraid to be left behind? Even if you suddenly want to practice in the middle of the night, I will come over and accompany you.”  
  
Yamada forced him to go out of the rest room and dragged him to their dressing room. He forced him to lie down on the sofa. He took the medicine and brought him the water.  
  
“This will help for a little. You’d better take a little sleep for a while here. You will get better soon. I’ll tell everyone.”  
  
“Thank you.” Yuya mumbled softly before drinking his medicine. He knew Yamada won’t go anywhere before he took the medicine so he obediently drank it.  
  
Yamada’s just staring at him until he slowly drifted to the slumber.  
  
 _Something is wrong. He got fever too often. I’ve already caught him in fever four times with this. Is he really okay?_  
  
He sighed deeply before took a blanket and covered him with it.  
  
  
  
Few hours later when the practice ended, everyone dashed to the dressing room.  
  
“Wow, it’s hot!” Yuto startled when he touched his forehead.  
  
“Are you sure you gave him the medicine?” Inoo turned to Yamada who sat on floor behind him.  
  
“I did. I even waited for him to sleep before went back to the practice room.” He moved to the couch and reached for Yuya’ s body. “You’re right. It’s still very hot. The medicine had a high dosage. It should work.”  
  
“But it didn’t. Maybe you gave him the wrong medicine?”  
  
Yamada went to the first aid box on the wall and checked the medicine. “I gave him this, and this is for a very high fever.”  
  
Everybody turned to Yuya who slowly opened his eyes.  
  
“How do you feel?” asked Inoo in concern.  
  
Yuya stared at him in silent. Honestly he felt burning all over his body. He felt weak, but looking at the worried expressions of his friends he smiled widely.  
  
“It’s okay, guys. Better than before. I’m fine now.”  
  
Takaki sat up slowly.  
  
“Is it the time to go home already?”  
  
“No! Just lay down.” Inoo grabbed his arm to make him sit still.  
  
Yuya turned to him and smiled. “Inoo-Kun, I’m fine, really. Don’t worry. I really feel better than before.” He then rose from the coach. “Is it time to go home already?” He started to gather his things when everybody nodded their heads.  
  
He lied. Everybody knew that. He’s still looked pale and weak. Everybody saw him tried to walk carefully as afraid if he moved quickly as usual he would fall.  
  
“Do you bring your car today?” Hikaru passed him his hat.  
  
“No. I took a bus this morning.”  
  
 _That’s why he was late. He must be overslept in the bus and missed the stop. No wonder, the flush on his face this morning, it’s not because of him running through the building because of late. It was because of his fever. I knew something was odd. He realized that I felt something wasn’t right. That’s why he avoided me before._  
  
Daiki shook his head while looking at Yuya silently.  
  
“Okay. I’ll drive you home. No offense.”  
  
Hikaru snapped when he saw Yuya wanted to refuse, and looked at Yabu and Inoo who agreed with his decision.  
  
“Come on.”  
  
He grabbed his bag together with Yuya’s before the owner reached it.  
  
Yuya could only follow him in silent. Hikaru could be scary once he was in his strict mode. Everyone knew that and nobody tried to offend him when he had decided something.  
  
Along the way to his home Yuya tried hard to stay awake but his body betrayed him. Soon as the car moved, slowly he fell again to the deep slumber. Inoo who sat beside him glanced at him many times. Holding his hand, trying hard to suppress his urge to hug him, comfort him. In his eyes, Yuya looked so fragile. In the front seat, Yabu turned back many times just to check on him and exchanged worried look with Inoo, while Hikaru was trying hard to not glance over the rear mirror too often and concentrated to the road in front of him. He drove as careful as he could. He was afraid that if he drove fast as usual he did, Yuya would stay awake and wouldn’t rest well along the way.  
  
Inoo hurriedly helped Yuya move out of the car when they reached his apartment.  
  
“I’m fine, guys. I can go in myself. Thanks for the riding, Yaotome-Kun. See you tomorrow.” But when he turned over his head was spinning hard. He tried to find a hold and relieved when Inoo holds him tightly.  
  
“You are definitely not fine.”  
  
“This ... is the second time … people told me about that today.”  
  
“That’s because you are definitely not fine. Come on, where’s your key. We’ll walk you to your bed.” Yabu reached for his pocket and took away the key before proceeded to his apartment.  
  
  
Later on, Yuya saw Yabu and Inoo curled up on the sofa while Hikaru was lying on the very end of his bed. Slowly he moved down of the bed and silently walked out of the room. His sight was blurring. He didn’t know why. Maybe it’s just because of the fever. Tried hard to hold the wall along the way to the kitchen, he supported himself and slowly moved to the fridge. Unfortunately, when he tried to take the glass from the cabinet, his holding loose and the glass fell. In no time the sleeping boys rushed out the room and found Yuya tried to gather the pieces of the broken glass on the floor. Immediately Inoo reached out his arm and forced him to stay away from the broken glass.  
  
“What are you doing? You will hurt your hand. Let us take care of it.”  
  
“I’m sorry to wake you up. I’m just thirsty ...”  
  
“Why didn’t you wake one of us?” Inoo forced him to go back to his room by holding him hard on his waist.  
  
“I .., you’re tired. All of us. And you look so peaceful on your sleep. I don’t have a heart to wake you up.”  
  
Inno helped him to lay down on the bed again.  
  
“He is too kind. It is his plus point.” Hikaru mumbled beside Yabu in the door way while holding a bottle of water.  
  
Yabu stared at Yuya who just lay down on the bed and closed his eyes.  
  
“In my point of view, it is his weak point.” He said it and walked over. He helped Yuya to sit and gave him the water to drink. “Now, sleep. We won’t leave you before you get better.”  
  
“Guys ... “  
  
“Shut up. Once in your life, be a selfish. There’s nothing to lose if you do that once in a while.” Hikaru snapped.  
  
Yuya sighed silently, knowing that he wouldn’t win against these guys. So he closed his eyes and started to drift away.  
  
Hikaru stared at him in silence, just like the other two boys. There’s something wrong. The fever would go less after he took the medicine, but they felt Yuya’s body was much hotter than before. They stared each other in silence, didn’t dare to voice out their mind.  



	4. It Started

Everybody left the dressing room slowly. Yabu moved silently to the couch where Takaki was sleeping.  
  
“Yuya, …” he poked his cheeks gently.  
  
It’s warm.  
  
Yabu touched his forehead and feels the heat.  
  
“Yuya..”  
  
Slowly Takaki opened his eyes.  
  
“It’s time to go back. The van is waiting.”  
  
Takaki got up from the couch and walked out the room. He forgot to bring his bag but looked like he didn’t realize it. Yabu sighed and reached the bag before tailed him to the van.  
  
“You know Yuya, Yama-Chan said we should go to the beach after the concert done.”  
  
Suddenly Chinen popped out from nowhere and hugged his arm tightly.  
  
“Chinen, let him rest …” said Yabu softly.  
  
Not letting go his hug, Chinen pouted.  
  
“We can do it later.” Takaki smiled widely.  
  
_Beach, who can resist it?_  
  
“Yay ..., you’ll walk with me along the beach then.”  
  
Takaki smiled and ruffled his hair.  
  
“Ah,” suddenly he realized, “my stuffs.”  
  
He just wanted to turn around when Yabu gave him his bag. Again, Takaki just smiled widely.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
Yabu only smiled. There’s no words came from his mouth. He just stared at him silently.  
  
“Something’s wrong?” Takaki wondered. Finally he found his courage to ask him when the older stared at him without speaking.  
  
Yabu moved close and reached his arm.  
  
“Don’t force yourself. You should say no some times. You can’t just let everybody torturing you like this.”  
  
“I’m NOT torturing him!” Chinen protested with his arm across his chest.  
  
“Consider your own body. You have a fever now.” Yabu ignored him  
  
“Eh?”  
  
Chinen pushed Yabu away from Takaki and tiptoed to touch his forehead. It’s warm, almost hot.  
  
“You do. Yuya, you should take a rest. Yabu-Kun, we should go back to the hotel immediately.”  
  
With that, he dragged Takaki to the van without noticing that the person winched with the sudden movement.  
  
Yabu shook his head, amusing with the shortest’s attitude toward him. He slowly followed them and reminded himself to be more careful when Chinen was around him. The shortest could be turned as an evil when he didn’t get what he wanted. Everybody knew that. Usually he would go to Takaki when nobody agreed with everything he wanted. They’re close from the very start anyway, and everybody knew it. It’s not a secret that he always swirled around him. Even some times he said that Takaki was his little brother, which made everybody smiled amusedly, so he had to take care of him carefully.  
  
But lately, Takaki seemed didn’t have energy left to satisfy the youngests demand. He was too drained with his own self. He looked tired all the time. As far as he remembered, Takaki was always sleeping when they have time to rest. Lately he seldom wandered everywhere with Seven when they had free time on their work. He always used it to sleep.  
  
And again, he was sleeping all the way to the hotel.  
  
Everybody found it awkward without his weird jokes. Even Hikaru didn’t try to throw any joke at that time. He just looked at the sleeping boy silently. He looked pale.  
  
“Is he okay?” asked him finally after long silence.  
  
“A little fever. Too tired maybe.” Said Yabu softly.  
  
Hikaru patted his arm, tried to assure him that everything’s okay.  
  
Arriving at the hotel, they had to deal with Chinen who forced to stay with Takaki.  
  
“Yuri, just let Yabu-Kun take care of Yuya, okay. He is with the best person in the world.” Yamada tried to persuade while dragging him outside the two oldest members’ room.  
  
“But, Yuya …”  
  
“Don’t worry about him. Yabu-Kun will sacrifice his life to protect your ‘little brother’ from the fever monster. He is our mother, anyway.” Daiki words made everybody laugh heavily which make Chinen pouted more.  
  
“Dai-Chan, shut up!” Yamada screamed at his face. “You don’t make anything better!”  
  
Daiki just grinned at him, realized that his jokes made the awkward atmosphere around them reduced.  
  
“Come on, Yuri. Never mind him. You can check Yuya tomorrow morning, and trust me everything will be okay.”  
  
“He is a strong guy, isn’t he?” Keito tried to assuring him too.  
  
Slowly Chinen nodded his head, agreed with him.  
  
“Then you don’t have to worry. He will not be defeated by fever.”  
  
And by that, everybody went to their rooms and tried their best to rest. Meanwhile, Yabu couldn’t sleep well. Every other minute he checked on Takaki’s temperature and ended sleeping hugging him tightly.  
  
A knock on the door woke him up. Still confusing with himself, why he didn’t sleep on his own bed, he turned around and see Takaki, who was still sleeping. Suddenly he remembered about the fever and hurried to touch his forehead. It was still warm, but less than yesterday. Unconsciously he sighed and fixed his blanket before walked to the door and opened it.  
  
Chinen came in a flash and settled himself beside Yuya in a second, made Yabu shook his head with that.  
  
“How’s he?” asked Kazama who tailed Chinen to their room. He’s been told earlier about Takaki’s condition and decided to check.  
  
“It’s better than yesterday. I guess we should let him sleep for a while before we start the meeting for tonight show.”  
  
Kazama nodded “Just one night left, and you don’t have any schedule for a week after this. So I guess it’s better for you, I mean all of you, to take day off.”  
  
“Thank you.” Yabu smiled softly to him.  
  
Later in the concert, Hikaru stunned for a while. He felt the heat of Takaki’s arm. It wasn’t normal heat. It was very hot. Slowly he chased Takaki, ignoring the instruction heard from his earphone about where he should go. He was just following where Takaki head to. Slowly everybody noticed his act and they started to worry. They knew something was wrong with Hikaru and that thing concerned to Takaki.  
  
Yamada who walked toward Takaki stopped for a moment in front of him and stared at him gently while rubbing his arm. He could feel the heat radiating from Takaki’s body in his hand and now he understood why Hikaru looked worry.  
  
Takaki gave him his best smile, not realizing that Yamada had already knew that he didn’t feel well at the time. His head was actually spinning. He could feel the burn all over his body. His sight blurred and as time went by it was getting worst. In his heart he never stopped to pray that he can handle his body until the show ended.  
  
_Please, let me finish this, please._  
  
He waved the audiences with his best smile as nothing happened. He just wanted them to be happy. He tried his best to look really fine until he didn’t realize that one or two members always walked around him.  
  
And finally he sighed heavily by the time the show’s end. He waved his hand forcefully before went back to the back stage and ready to surrender to his tiring body. He really couldn’t see anything more by the time he reached the dressing room. His body limped and he gave up.  
  
Yabu, who walked right after him caught his body before it reached the floor.  
  
“Somebody! Call the ambulance!” Yabu yelled out of his lung. He lost his calm after he felt Takaki’s body. It was burning.  
  
“Give him a room!” Hikaru came with the wet towel in his hands. “Take me cold water!”  
  
Everybody rushed to get the cold water and more towels. Chinen started to sob in Daiki’s embrace.  
  
“He’ll be fine. It’s okay, he will definitely be fine.” Daiki tried to calm the youngest member in his embrace, and also assuring himself that he was right.  
  
Yamada held Takaki’s hand tightly as he will lose him if he endured the hold. His body shook. Fear slowly crawling to his heart as he saw the pale in his face.  
  
“Yuya.., don’t give up…, please …, please fight, don’t give up ..” he was whispering it into Takaki’s ear continuously until the ambulance took him away to the hospital.  
  
Everybody was sitting on the chair silently. Nobody talked. They just stared at the door of the ICU in front of them, wishing that the door would open widely and they would tell them that Takaki is going to be just fine.  
  
“Guys, you have to go back to the hotel. You can’t stay here because the visiting hour is over.” Kazama said gently.  
  
No one answered. Kazama sighed heavily. He touched Hikaru’s arm.  
  
Hikaru looked at him blankly. “Huh?”  
  
Kazama smiled. “You have to be strong. He needs you. If you fall now, imagine what will happen to him?”  
  
Hikaru stared at him.  
  
“We have to go back to the hotel. Let the doctors take care of Takaki. You have to take a rest. Tomorrow you can come back here and .., maybe Takaki will already wake up, and the doctors allow you to visit him. You guys have to be strong. Come on. Let’s go back to the hotel.”  
  
One by one, they stood up and started to walk away, living their heart beside Takaki who was laying helplessly in the ICU.  
  
No one got the proper sleep that night. Everybody stayed awoke until it’s really late at night and tiredness took over their body. Hikaru was just staring expressionlessly to the ceiling. He then got up and sat by the edge of the bed. He looked at the one who was laying unmoved on the next bed. Slowly he moved there and crawling to his side.  
  
“Inoo-chan .., are you awake?” He touched his friend’s arm.  
  
“Hmm ..”  
  
Silent came in a long pace.  
  
“Will he be alright?”  
  
Inoo closed his eyes. A tear rolls in his cheek.  
  
“I … I’m so scared …” he then started to sob. “What if … “ he didn’t dare to continue his words as he felt Hikaru’s hand hold his tight.  
  
In his room, Yabu kept in silence. He stared at the ceiling.  
  
_Something was really wrong with him._  
  
He tried to remember that he looked weak lately. Almost in every PV making he got sick. Cold, fever, sore throat. They came altogether. Once he recovered from cold, the sore throat attacked him. Then the fever that almost came all the times.  
  
Suddenly he got up from the bed and walked out the room. Silently he walked down the hallway to the main lobby. He sat down to the couch. No words, no moves, he just kept silent in his place until someone sat beside him. He looked at the person and found Yamada smiled at him.  
  
“He will be fine. Don’t worry. He is a fighter.”  
  
Yabu nodded weakly.  
  



	5. The Visit

The sweet of flowers’ fragrant greeted them when they entered the Takaki’s resident. Mrs. Takaki Etsuko, who opened the gate for them smiled and invited them into their living room, where Yuya was playing with his nephew, who was only three years old. A loud laughter was echoing the room when they arrived in the room.  
  
"Thankfully my grandson is coming to visit. Or else, Yuya will be stubbornly goes out to relieve his bore." Etsuko said with relief.  
  
Everyone looked at the two different ages who were wrestling at the floor covered with a blue carpet.  
  
"Hey, why do I feel that there are two Yuyas who are playing there?" Daiki asked. His eyes didn’t move from the two people who laugh in front of him.  
  
"Yeah. And honestly I don’t know which one is our Yuya. The huge one, who wears a yellow t-shirt with brown hair, or the little one who wears a yellow t-shirt too, but with short black hair." Inoo said nonchalantly.  
  
“Mmmmm ...” Everybody looked at the two boys and acted as if they were in a deep thought.  
  
“I don’t know, really. They look like twins.” Hikaru said that after a while.  
  
“But I’ve never heard that Yuyan has a twin.” Chinen complained softly. He pretended to pout.  
  
Etsuko giggled amusedly to hear their talks.  
  
"You know what? Just now I also think the same? Which one is my son? They look the same, don’t they?" Yuu suddenly appeared behind them while carrying a full tray of fresh drinks and fruits.  
  
They stunned and looked each other for a moment before falling into a loud laughter together.  
  
Yuya’s attention finally diverted. He turned to see his friends and waved to him. He sat up and lowered his nephew to the floor.  
  
"Hi, guys. Welcome to my house. "  
  
He welcomed them with a big smile on his face. Things that made everyone missed him so much. His wide smile. It looked fresh, no burden in it, and always calmed their heart.  
  
"Shouldn’t you be in bed?" Yamada asked him casually. He then joined Yuya and sat beside him. "The doctor said that you have to take a total rest, didn’t he? So what are you doing here?”  
  
“Oi, Yama-Chan. Are you trying to steal Yabu’s position of becoming our mother?”  
  
A hard whack slapped Hikaru’s head right after he finished his words. Yabu glared him deathly, made him moved behind Inoo who giggled with his friends attitude.  
  
“Yuyan, you should take a rest more if you still feel not good.” Chinen joined them on the floor.  
  
“Yeah. You freaked us out back then in the concert. We scared to death when you fainted.” Daiki soon followed too and lifted the baby onto his lap.  
  
“We would’ve been prepared if you told us about your condition. At least, told us that you didn’t feel good so we didn’t get panic.” Keito took a seat beside Daiki.  
  
“It was only a slight of fever, guys.”  
  
“What slight of fever. You fainted! And everybody was freaking out back then. Even Yuri was crying and Yabu-Kun didn’t sleep at all that night.” Yamada scolded him.  
  
One by one all of them joined them on the floor. They were just chattering around. No one dared to make some noises or started the commotion like they did every time they got together. All of them were still traumatized with the scene where Yuya fainted with a very hot fever some time ago. It was still clearly drawn on their memory the paleness and the helpless Yuya at that time, and they feared that if they went overboard, Yuya would fall again.  
  
Meanwhile, Yabu was still standing at his place. He was stunned and just staring at his friends without words. He kept in silence until a hand touched his arm  
  
"Don’t look at them with that kind of face. You made them scare with your excessive worries. Just be yourself. Everybody loves you when you smile. So smile and laugh, and joke around like the usual you.” Etsuko smiled softly at him.  
  
"I ..., is he really okay? Are you sure he only caught a cold? Have you made the doctor checked him thoroughly?"  
  
Etsuko smiled again. "It was all because of the rain. Few times ago he came home drenched with the rain. It was raining heavily at that time and we have no idea why he didn’t bring his umbrella.”  
  
"That’s it? Only because of the rain?”  
  
Etsuko smiled and looked at him gently. This time she kept silence for a while before answered the questions.  
  
“Indeed, the trigger was that rain. He shouldn’t be soaking wet too long. He shouldn’t even get into the rain.”  
  
Yabu had caught a bit of doubt in the Etsuko’s face for a moment. It’s enough for him to know that the woman was hiding something. He needed to know but didn’t have the courage to urge her. “But he does love the rain.”  
  
"Yes. He really loves the rain. And I believe all people knew that. But unfortunately his body couldn’t stand its coldness." Etsuko smiled again. She turned to look at Yuya who laughed with his friends’ jokes. "Calm down, okay. It wasn’t the first time he had that kind of fever. It has been so many times ever since he was little. We are used to dealing with this. Soon, he'll recover as usual."  
  
"He’s driving, right? He didn’t have to bring his umbrella as long as he stayed at his car. Even if it’s raining heavily."  
  
"Yup, but that time he didn’t bring his car too. He missed the train he said. And since that time he rarely drove alone again if I remember correctly. He often took the bus or the train to go to work Almost all the time. I don’t know why. He just said that he missed it. He missed the noise and how full it is when he rides the train or buses."  
  
Yabu was silent again. His attention was diverted by Yuya’s loud laugh.  
  
"You will let him stay alone in his apartment again? After all of these? Honestly that wasn’t the first time we caught him on fever. It had been so many times, until we couldn’t even remember clearly since when it had started." He asked after a moment.  
  
"Not for now. We forced him to go home until we’re sure that his condition recovers one hundred percent. We do not allow him to return to his apartment until we are absolutely sure he is healthy enough and able to do anything alone."  
  
Yabu kept silence again. He was just staring at Yuya.  
  
Etsuko smiled lightly. “Why don’t you tell him now? I’m okay if it’s you.” She leaned and whispered at Yabu. “Hurry up, before someone else takes your chance. I can see your rival clearly shows his affection to Yuya. And from my observation he has a bigger chance than you. And if you don’t move fast, trust me, you will lose.”  
  
“I won’t.”  
  
Yabu answered he quickly. Too quick until he wondered and turned to the woman right away. He saw a mischievous smile at the woman beside him. Unconsciously his face turned red. He didn’t see this coming.  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
“Mother’s instinct.” She said that before turned around to the kitchen.  
  
Yabu was trying to hide his shyness by turned to look out the window. Once he felt could handle it, he joined his friends.  
  
“Did I miss something?” Hikaru whispered at him.  
  
Yabu turned to him and again his face turned red while Hikaru was grinning hard at him.  


  
~~~~

“Mom, until when you will keep the secret. He needs to know.” Yuu asked her when everybody had already gone home.

Etsuko closed her eyes. “I know. I’m …, I’m just …, I’m still not ready to tell him the truth.”

Yuu sighed heavily. “You’re always not ready. He needs to know, mom.”

“What if he doesn’t accept it? What if he …”

“Mom, he needs to prepare himself before it came. The longer you kept him in the dark, the longer he will suffer from the impact.”

Etsuko kept silence. She knew her first born was right. She had been kept the secret since forever. She then sat down at the sofa. Yuu followed her and sat beside her. She knew that her mother would break up soon. It always happened when she asked that question.

“I don’t know how to tell him. What will I do if he asks me why? What should I tell him if he asks me how come that happen to him? What should I tell him if he asks me why him?” And tears dropped uncontrollably on her cheeks.

Yuu reached her mother and hugged her tightly. She knew that answering those questions would be the hardest part of telling Yuya the truth. She was the same, didn’t have the courage to do that part.  



	6. The Truth

He yawned many times and decided to go upstairs to his room. His body couldn’t take it anymore. He had to sleep. After all of the hectic of his assignments, he finally had a chance to take a rest. He walked slowly to his room but then decided to walk backward when he saw the door of his brother’s room opened. He took a peek and saw his mother sat silently in the edge of the bed, staring at his sleeping brother gently without moving.  
  
“Is he alright?” Yuma asked with a low voice from the door.  
  
Etsuko turned around and saw his youngest son on the door. She caressed Yuya’s cheeks before got up and walked out the door. She closed the door gently and smiled to Yuma.  
  
“It’s just a slight of fever. Don’t worry.”  
  
“Again? Geez, why doesn’t he just take a break from that stupid company? He sure needs a rest.”  
  
Etsuko smiled gently. “You too need a rest, don’t you? You’ve been too busy lately. Just take care of your body so we can support each other.”  
  
Yuma pouted with his mother’s answer. Something mingled in his mind.  
  
“Is there anything wrong with him? It seems you’re hiding something.”  
  
Again, Etsuko just smiled to him and caressed his back without answering him.  
  
“Just go to sleep. You look like a zombie right now. Yuya will tease you tomorrow if you wake up with a circle on your eyes and a really big bag under your eyes.”  
  
“Like he doesn’t have it …”  
  
Etsuko chuckled and pushed him to his own room before turned around to go downstairs.  
  
“Mom?”  
  
Etsuko stopped. She turned to his son again. “What?”  
  
“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong with him?”  
  
Etsuko kept silent for a moment. “There is.” She said that after a while. Her eyes were never averted from his son. Clearly he saw his body stiffen from the answer. “But let’s talk about this later, okay? When I’m ready I will tell you everything until you don’t have any questions to ask me more.”  
  
Yuma nodded many times. He was dying with curiosity but looking at his mother right now he didn’t have a heart to ask her more.  
  
“And when that time comes, I really need your strength to support me so I won’t fall. I need you to always be there with us to help him and never live him alone.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “Because at that time he will fall down for sure. He will need all the strength we have to support him, to keep him moves forward, and to stay strong.”  
  
Yuma lost his words. He didn’t see this coming. He never thought that it would be that bad. “Is it that bad?” he asked her softly. His heart suddenly filled of worries and fear.  
  
Etsuko wiped her tears. “Let’s just prepare for the worst, okay. I can’t answer you more than this. I’m sorry. I’m still not ready.” She shook her heads weakly.  
  
Yuma caressed her arm gently. He smiled.  
  
“You don’t have to tell me if you think you’re not ready. I just want you to know that I grew up. I’m not a little boy anymore. I can handle everything, trust me. You can lean on me if you need. I will give you everything to make you strong so you can take care of us like you always do until now.”  
  
Etsuko smiled at him. “Thank you.” She hugged her youngest son tightly before let him go and walked away.  
  
Later on Yuma couldn’t close his eyes. He was just lying on his bed silently. His eyes were opened widely and didn’t want to close at all. Every word from his mother mingled in his mind like forever.  
  
_I really need your strength to support me so I won’t fall. I need you to always be there with us to help him and never live him alone. He will need all the strength we have to support him._  
  
He then got up from his bed and walked to the balcony. He looked up and saw the night sky. It’s dark. He couldn’t see anything. He then turned around and saw the balcony door to Yuya’s room. He walked over, opened the door carefully and entered the room silently. He stared at his brother, tried to observe him.  
  
_What is it? What is happening to you?_  
  
He moved backward fast when Yuya stirred at his sleeping. He sighed when his brother didn’t wake up. Silently he walked back and closed the door.  
  
_Ugh! I want to know it. What is it? ___  
  
He ruffled his hair desperately before decided to go back to his room.  


~~~~

The sounds of the birds chirping on the tree in front of his window slowly woke him from his slumber. Lazily he opened his eyes. His body felt numb and didn’t want to get up. For couple of minutes he just lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling and realized that it blurred. He closed his eyes and opened it slowly. There’s no change. He sat up and flinched when he felt the pain attacked him suddenly. It was like a sting behind his eyes. He closed his eyes immediately and reached his forehead with his palms. He panted heavily when he pushed it hard, hope the pain would reduce soon.

“Breath in, take it out slowly …, don’t be hurry. Okay …, that’s it …, good boy. Do it again until you feel ease …, that’s it … good boy …”

A gentle voice whispered in his ears many times without stopping. He did exactly what had been told and soon the pain really got ease. He opened his eyes slowly and found his mother, clearly, stared at him intently, tried to make sure that he had already fine.

“Mom …”

Etsuko smiled at him. “Come on. Breakfast is ready. You told me to wake you up before eight, didn’t you?”

“What happen to me?” asked Yuya weakly. He felt something was wrong with his body lately. His sight sometimes got blur and this morning wasn’t the first time he got the attack. Actually few days ago he got one but didn’t dare to tell anybody. Now he really wanted to know. He knew his mother was hiding something. So he reached her hand and made her turned around to face him.

Etsuko kept silent for a moment before finally sat on the bed and sighed heavily.

_I guess this is the time. I can’t hold it anymore. Yuu’s right. Dad was also right. He deserves to know everything. Oh God. Give me strength to do this._

“Mom. You never gave me the answer when I asked that question before, but I’m an adult now. I need to know. You can’t keep me in the dark forever.”

Etsuko looked at him gently. She took his hand and grabbed it tightly. “Listen to me first, okay.”

Yuya nodded obediently.

“Whatever I will tell you later, you have to trust me that I will always be here for you. I won’t leave you alone and I will stay here forever with you. Do you understand?”

Yuya chuckled “Mom, you’re freaking me out. What is it? Just tell me.” His heart was accelerated suddenly. It felt like it would explode right away. The fear which peeked out of his heart when the attack came few minutes ago, now suddenly stayed there and didn't want to leave.

Etsuko sighed heavily while staring at his son stiffly.

“Those fevers you always got …, when it become intense, like lately, it will affect your sight.”

For a moment Yuya didn’t move. His brain was still trying to absorb what did his mother just told him. “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

“It’s just like what I had said. It will affect your sight. Badly.”

Yuya stared at her without blinking. “You mean …, I …, I will loss …, my sight? I’m going to blind?”

His mother looked at him apologetically. “Actually the doctor had already warned us since you were a child but …, we always denies it. I’m sorry …” tears roll on her cheeks uncontrollably.

Yuya sat still on his bed. He kept silent. His mind was still trying to absorb the information he just got. He’s going to be blind. He wouldn’t be able to see anything more. It would be dark forever. No more blue sky, no more green leaves, and he would never see his mother smiles ever again. His mother’s smile. He jolted when he realized it. He turned to see her crying silently in front of him. He reached her to his embrace and caressed her back, try to sooth her.

“Mom, it’s okay.” A tear rolled on his own cheek but he swept it immediately, not wanting to make his mother more worry than now. “I have you, right? You will stay here with me, right? You will never leave me alone, right?”

“I am. I will stay here forever with you. You will never be alone forever, trust me.” Etsuko said that between her sobs. She hugged Yuya tightly, and tried to deliver her strength to him so he wouldn’t fall. Or the reverse. She tried to absorb Yuya’s strength to make herself strong enough. She didn’t expect that Yuya would be this calm. She didn’t expect that she was the one who cried loudly after the revelation.

Outside the room, Yuma closed his eyes. His hand clenched into a fist.

_So, this is what she tried to tell me. How long has she been kept it? Did everyone else know this? Am I the one left? What should I do now?_

But he didn’t dare to move. He didn’t want to move. He stayed still on his place silently.  



End file.
